Coming Home
by China Dolly
Summary: "I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I killed my brother, left the village and betrayed every friend I could have had. Why do you care?" Sasuke had asked him. And why did he care indeed? For if there was one thing Sasuke was, it was troublesome... Yaoi
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own

**Part One**

Solo missions are the kind that I prefer most.

I am allowed to do what I think is best, when I think it is best and there is absolutely no-one around to argue with me about the decisions I make.

That was why I thought a few-months undercover operation wouldn't be so bad and could actually prove to be quite interesting.

The mission itself was anything but interesting, staking out the main part of the job and the village itself was quiet to say the least.

Just my type of scenery, or so many would say, wouldn't it be for the fact that after a few months even I get bored with myself.

Luckily for me things were about to change and get interesting for sure.

Although I could never have expected that the one person to ensure that change of scenery would be Sasuke Uchiha.

"Why did you take me here?"

I always knew that Sasuke Uchiha was many things, a cocky bastard definitely one of those things. But I had never considered him to be ungrateful.

"Why?" I raise my eyes from the cigarette-smoke I was watching and lazily regard the black-haired, pale-skinned young man in front of me. "You were passed out and bleeding."

A sigh passes his lips and the look that crosses his face is somewhat weary.

I can't help but frown at that, lifting my cigarette and taking a slow drag while my eyes never leave his features. It looks like he is trying to come up with something to reply, something to convince me that I shouldn't have taken him with me.

If he'd just needed a place to stay that might have actually worked. But since I'm not about to let anyone, not even Sasuke no matter what he did in the past, bleed to death in the middle of a forest I'm certain he won't persuade me to change my mind.

Suddenly Sasuke turns his head away, the blanket rustling softly as he turns his body away from me too. "I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I killed my brother, left the village and betrayed every friend I could have had. Why do you care?" His voice is rough, a bark almost meant to scare me off but the sadness in his tone is also lingering.

The way he is sitting in bed now is almost saddening. The once so very proud Uchiha seemingly shying away from me and wondering why someone would even bother saving his life. Truly, what has become of him?

I snort at his words, lifting my chin slightly in what I know must look like cockiness and allow smoke to pass my lips in little puffs. "Thank you would have sufficed." I talk slowly, my tone a drawl almost.

I am not sure, since I actually don't know Sasuke all that well, but judging his words I must say that they painfully imply that he'd rather seen that I had just let him die under that tree.

Tempting of course, considering the way both Naruto and Sakura are still convinced that one day this man in front of me will return to the village. It is an almost sickening delusion they imagine their selves to be in.

Because how can they believe, after seven years, that Sasuke would have any desire left to return to Konoha? Even if he wanted to, being able to return isn't something he can easily to at this point.

Seven years after he left the village he has what one could call a criminal-record that isn't pretty. And even though for the past few years no to little news about him has reached us, that doesn't erase everything he did in the past.

And they, unlike Naruto and Sakura tend to believe, are unforgivable to the persons that get to decide whether or not he returns.

Besides, if Sasuke returned willingly and with the Hokage's and Council's approval that still doesn't mean that things will return to normal.

Things will never be as they used to be and I think that those that hold the hope that it will, are fooling themselves.

"I am not thanking you."

Sasuke's voice disturbs me from my musings and I raise my eyes to look at him while taking another drag of my cigarette.

He has turned to look at me again, his face impassive yet his right hand, the one he probably thinks I can't see, is clenching the sheets if only lightly.

"No, you are obviously not." I sigh softly and rub my forehead with the back of my hand. "You would rather have wanted that I had let you there to die, wouldn't you?"

I want to berate myself for asking Sasuke this. It isn't any of my business and I am not usually this curious a person.

But Sasuke Uchiha has always been an enigma, one of the few persons I didn't immediately understand and now that he is bound to bed with a concussion in my bed I find that I want to figure him out now that he isn't trying to kill me. Yet.

Sasuke grits his teeth and lowers his second hand to clench the sheets tightly, knuckles turning white before he turns to watch me, eyes flashing in what seems to be anger. "I'm just saying, I am a missing-nin whom you know won't hesitate to kill. Shouldn't you want me dead?"

Sasuke's tone is surprisingly calm considering the way he looks. It is probably something he has wondered many times, said to himself many times and that by now the words come almost like an automatic response. Something like saying you are fine when asked how you are doing.

It is quite sad, a bit pathetic too perhaps, that Sasuke would question me about saving his life. That he simply can't accept the fact that I am not like him, that I do not just let people die.

Or perhaps there is some part of him that wants to die. A part of him that believes there is nothing left to live for, not after the things he's done.

A loud sigh passes my lips. "Oh man," I find myself muttering before taking a drag from my cigarette to calm down my brain. Really, here I am pitying a world-wide criminal who feels like he wants to die.

But that is because, in truth, I am not faced with that criminal. In front of me sits Sasuke Uchiha, alone in this world and probably feeling guilty beyond believe. It is Sasuke that wishes himself dead, the same Sasuke that I played with when we were younger and the same guy that I actually liked as a kid because he didn't talk a lot.

And him asking me if I want him dead, if it isn't _normal_ that I want him dead has me laugh almost cruelly so.

"Isn't wanting yourself dead bad enough?"

* * *

><p>"When can I leave?"<p>

A sigh passes my lips and I look up from the scroll I am reading, a frown on my face. "In case you haven't noticed, the door is over there." I point a finger into the direction of the front-door, which is quite easy seeing that the only separate room in this upstairs apartment is the bathroom. "It isn't locked and I certainly am not keeping you here."

It isn't that I necessarily want Sasuke to leave. After three months of being by yourself and having no-one to really talk to since there's no-one you can trust, it is nice to have company. Company that can't harm you for he's hurt.

Besides, I have found Sasuke to be relatively good company. Don't ask him what he did all the past years, why he got hurt and why he wants to die and conversations are actually not that bad.

Not once has he asked after Naruto and Sakura and not once have I offered him information about Konoha and what's happening now.

Perhaps it is an un-spoken agreement we have come upon. Don't ask about things we both know and we can pretend that he isn't a world-wide criminal and I am not supposed to kill him or take him in.

One could call it ignorance, it probably is, but we are both in need of someone we can call an acquaintance, someone that understands that being alone for too long an end starts eating at you.

Granted, Sasuke is not as bad as he might seem. He doesn't complain, doesn't talk about idle things and he isn't prone to prying into my life and what I'm doing at this place. Put that together with a quick mind and an almost cynical view on life and conversations are quick, full of wit and interesting to say the least.

"You know very well that I can't even make it to the door." Sasuke's voice drops to a low grumble as he speaks, pursing his lips almost like he's pouting.

It is a small transformation Sasuke seems to have gone through since the first day I brought him here and he just woke up. Now, three days later, he is less angry and gloomy with life in general and what I think is the real Sasuke is finally shining through.

A nice change and I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't like to get to know this side of Sasuke a bit better.

"Then why ask?" I raise an eyebrow, my lips curl up into a small smile as I can't help but wonder why indeed he is asking.

Sasuke rolls his eyes at me and my – apparently – silly question. "I just want to know when I can get out of bed."

A snort passes my lips at his words. "Until you stop feeling dizzy when you stand up? You're the one that stays in it, I'm not telling you too."

Although I am not really sure whether or not he is merely talking about the fact he has to stay in bed. For while I might like to have Sasuke around that doesn't mean he feels the same way about our current situation.

An almost disappointed sigh passes Sasuke's lips and his eyebrows furrow together in a small frown. "So, you haven't got any experience with this kind of thing?"  
>I raise an amused eyebrow. Experience with this kind of thing? I wonder exactly what kind of thing he is referring too but my guess it is not the fact I have a criminal hidden in my bed while I'm on an undercover mission.<p>

"Last time I checked I wasn't a medic-nin." It's a bit of a cheeky reply that has the possibility to piss Sasuke off yet I don't find myself caring much about that. He is the one asking me childish questions that he knows very well I can't answer properly.

A soft grumble passes Sasuke's lips at my answer and with a soft sigh he lies down again, turning his back to me like an angry little kid and mumbling: "Since you are no help at all, I am going back to sleep."

"Mature," I mutter with a roll of my eyes at Sasuke's behaviour. Although it is a bit annoying that he is acting like this, I do like the fact he feels comfortable enough around me to actually behave like this.

And then I suddenly frown. Before today, he hasn't asked how long it will take for he can leave or until he can get out of bed. To me, that can mean either two things. Or he wants to leave badly, my company probably the main reason for that, or he has someone that he needs to meet up with.

Trying to look un-interested by turning back to the scroll I was reading before I let silence fall over the room for a few minutes before glancing up at my companion and casually informing: "Why the hurry to leave? Someone waiting for you somewhere?"  
>I can see Sasuke's jaws tense slightly at the question, an obvious sign he is annoyed to say the least. The flicker of slight disappointment that crosses his expression is masked almost completely by a cocky grin and a tilt of his chin.<p>

But when our eyes catch each other, the attitude is dropped almost immediately and a heavy sigh passes his lips while his shoulders slump almost as if burdened by the entire world.

He knows I can see right through him.

"I don't need anyone around." His tone is flat, empty although it shakes just the tiniest bit and when his lips curl up into a smirk it is almost as if he is forcing himself. "I've found that I get around best when I'm alone."

I freeze for a moment at Sasuke's words. Although it were the words I had expected, truly hearing them is still a bit of a surprise.

Right away I wonder how long Sasuke has been alone and what he has done all this time. For when alone you don't run an underground crime organisation intent on attacking Konoha or another village.

"So you've been doing petty jobs on your own?" My eyebrows draw together and I lean my head to the side, watching Sasuke closely as I wait for a reply to my curious question.

A snort passes Sasuke's lips and he shakes his head. "Revenge apparently gets boring after seven years." He mumbles and it is easy to read in-between the lines.

He either gained what he wanted to when he left the village or gave up ever finding it yet now he has nowhere to go and no-one to return to.

"And this doesn't?" It's not what I wanted to ask, now what I wanted to tell him but the words have left my mouth before I even realize it. I just can't help but wonder what exactly he is doing now and what he himself thinks will become of himself in the future. Certainly considering the state he was in when I found him...

"This was anything but fun from the beginning, Shikamaru." Sasuke snaps and he turns to me with flashing eyes while his hands draw into fists that clench the bed-sheets. "But you know just as well as I do that there are little places I can go."

It is true and even though he's done it to himself and I should hate him for what he's done to both my village and my friends I can't help but feel for him. Feel bad for him and hope that one day he'll have some place where he can just live the rest of his life.

A strange thought that I would want that for him yet I don't often question my emotions and am not thinking this is the right time to start wondering.

"Well, until I'm called back to Konoha you are welcome to stay here." A strange offer considering who we are and what our relationship is but I want company and Sasuke is good company unlike what I had thought.

"Whatever," Sasuke rolls his eyes at me and lays back down onto the bed.

But I can see the way his hands loosen on the sheets, the way his lips curl up just the tiniest bit and I can't help but smile at Sasuke's silent thank you.

* * *

><p>Even after having Sasuke stay with me for a little over a month now I can still say that I find sunrise a ridiculous time to get up.<p>

Why Sasuke does it is completely beyond me although I guess it has something to do with stupid family traditions. Must be the negative side of being expected to be the best at everything you do.

At first I tried turning over and going back to sleep whenever I woke up when he moved outside to train on the small field at the back of the house. But even though he doesn't make much noise that can filter into the room through the opened window and my bed is always so comfortably warm that I want to stay in it forever curiosity won me over one day.

It is what killed the cat, or so they say, but I must admit that I feel more like the cat that got the cream.

As mentioned earlier, it is not that hard to get along with Sasuke and now that he seems to have warmed up when it comes to talking to me and telling me about what he's been up to and where he's been, liking him was something I had expected to happen.

What I hadn't expected, though, was to feel attracted to him all covered in sweat and panting while brushing a hand over slightly flushed cheeks.

When training, I found, Sasuke looks exquisite.

His pale skin always shimmers just slightly in the light of the morning-sun that falls over him while he moves through his routine and even more so when the first beads of sweat start rolling down his taut, perfect muscles and abs.

So after having seen Sasuke work out once, it was like he was luring me and I went like a willing siren, watching him every morning without so much as a grumble passing my lips.

The fact I am attracted to him and am always overcome by the urge to touch him doesn't bother me. I am of the belief that there is little to nothing that can be done about your emotions and what kind will be directed at which person so I don't try to argue with myself.

Instead, I simply enjoy these moments and watch him as much as I can. For even if he is to return my feelings, it isn't likely we will ever end up together.

He can't return to Konoha even if he wanted to and I refuse to forsake my village for anyone.

"That is not watching."

I raise my eyes from the patch of ground I looked at while being wrapped up in my thoughts and I raise an eyebrow at Sasuke's words. "Offended I find the grass to be more interesting than you?"

Sasuke chuckles and crosses his arms in front of his chest, raising his chin and looking at me with that trade-mark cocky grin of his. "With all the looking you've been doing I think a break isn't all that unwelcome."

I press my lips against each other and I am quite certain a small flush is spreading across my cheeks. I realized that he must have noticed the way I've been looking at a pretty long time ago and deep down I am surprised that he hasn't spoken of it until now.

It makes me wonder why. Perhaps because he doesn't care but after a month of living together who knows, maybe he ended up liking me.

Leaning my head to the side I study Sasuke silently for a few seconds.

Maybe, I tell myself, I should just make a move. Make it obvious that I am attracted to him and that I hope that those feelings are returned.

If my attraction isn't returned it's not as if I will be heartbroken and the chances of running into Sasuke when I leave for Konoha are none-existent.

"Getting bored with me?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

I know it isn't exactly a question that will let Sasuke know about my feelings but the way he replies will tell me a lot.

Sasuke chuckles and crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Bored?" He echoes me and then his lips curl up into a smirk. "Now why would I when having someone watch you all the time with lingering eyes is so very good for my self-confidence."

I snort at his cocky answer and push myself away from the wall I've been leaning against ever since stepping outside. "Well maybe I've given you too much of a good thing, then." I make my way over to him with small yet quick steps, pushing my hands into my pockets and when I stand in front of him slouching my shoulders slightly while leaning my head to the side with a grin.

Sasuke clacks his tongue against the roof of his mouth and he shakes his head at me with a smirk playing on his lips. "How presumptuous of you, Shikamaru." His tone is amused above anything else and with a chuckle he steps forward. "To so openly assume that I consider it a good thing."

I must admit that I feel slightly excited because of how close Sasuke is standing. Not only because I can now feel his body-heat radiate off of him, blanketing me in an almost fuzzy feeling that leaves me reeling slightly.

Because his close proximity isn't just nice because I can almost touch him. The thought that excites me too is that while I might have closed the most distance between the two of us, Sasuke himself is the one that took the last step forward which has him standing well into my personal-space.

And while I don't mind that, would have him this close to me all the time if I had a say in things, the fact that apparently he doesn't mind being this close to me either is enough to have my heart skip a beat.

The soft chuckle that escapes Sasuke before I've even argued with his statement indicates that he must've noticed my momentarily excitement.

When I look up at him, though, I will my heart to calm down, fight the blush that's threatening to grace my cheeks and in a tone that I know sounds brash I say: "I am actually quite sure I am not wrong in my assumption, though."

When I hear the puff of breath that passes Sasuke's lips, almost like a barely-there gasp, I feel my heart skip a beat and suddenly the urge to touch him, kiss him, is even greater than it was before.

"And why is that?" Sasuke raises an eyebrow, he shifts slightly in his spot and leans his head to the side while pursing his lips together slightly.

He is nervous, I realize suddenly.

Why, I have no clue but the way he stands in front of me is certainly a nervous one. He is usually so cocky, overly-sure of himself in a way that many loathe but now it is very apparent that when it comes to emotions Sasuke can be quite insecure.

Perhaps my lack of nervousness at this moment is brought forward because I have had many persons in my life that loved me. Of course, my parents don't love me in the same way I hope that Sasuke will, but the emotion is somewhat comparable. And while I know what it feels like to be loved – and to be rejected – Sasuke probably doesn't really knows those feelings. He knew them once, and they are probably memories he'll carry with him forever, but what he is feeling at this moment – whatever that is – is probably new to him.

It has me realize that whatever is going to happen from this point on will be dependent on what I am going to do.

I allow a faked sigh to pass my lips and I shake my head, raising my eyes to meet Sasuke's and I feel a small thrill go through my body when our gazes catch.

Hazel meets black and I am quite sure that I am not the only one that is taken aback by the sudden emotions that whirl throughout me because of such a simple action.

Rather than be taken aback, though, I quirk my lips up into a smirk. "Why is that?" I echo his words and shake my head with a chuckle. "You really are a troublesome guy, Sasuke."

Sasuke huffs at my words and he lowers his arms only to place his hands against his side in an almost defensive stance. "Troublesome?"

"Very troublesome," I murmur, my tone having dropped to a low tremor.

Then I decide that I really can't wait any longer.

After taking a small breath in an attempt to calm the nerves that suddenly worked their way into me, I reach out to lay my arms around his shoulders, hugging him slightly closer to me. I lean forward, making sure that when I murmur my next words my breath ghosts over his ears. "Because the way you've been allowing me to watch you the past few weeks tells me that _this_ is something we both want."

Sasuke's shuddering breath ghosts across my cheek, sending a shiver down my spine, as he pretends to be confused about my words. "This, Shikamaru?"

I resist the urge to sigh loudly and roll my eyes at Sasuke's words. They're rather ignorant and evasive considering how close we stand and the way he's been acting.

"Yes, this." I murmur in reply and, shoving aside all doubts that could have lingered and ignoring the nervousness threatening to overwhelm me, cup his cheeks in both my palms and lean forward to kiss him.

The first thing that comes to my mind is that his lips are chapped and he tastes like toothpaste.

But those un-important, ridiculous thoughts are shoved to the back of my mind the moment that I feel those chapped lips move against mine. The feeling ignites a rush of excitement to go through me and my mind gets fuzzy quickly, banning all rational thoughts from my mind.

I place my arms around his shoulders to hug him close and when he presses himself closer to me I can't help but groan in both excitement and surprised happiness.

Wanting to take as much as I can get while Sasuke might be confused and acting on impulse rather than thought, I lick Sasuke's lips and slip my tongue past his lips the moment he parts them slightly.

It's like an electric bolt spreading through my body when his tongue rubs against mine and with a soft sound passing my lips I press myself a bit tighter against his body.

Kissing Sasuke is getting addictive real quick and when he pulls away from the kiss I rest my forehead against his shoulder, still holding him close and already wanting more.

"Shikamaru," Sasuke's voice is soft and slightly hesitant when he speaks although hints of surprise and lingering happiness can be found in his tone as well.

He is uncertain, even though his tone isn't necessarily nervous I do recognize it and it is understandable. Anyone would be nervous in this kind of situation and the fact that Sasuke probably doesn't know anything about these situations and feelings mustn't be helping him.

"I don't care, Sasuke." I murmur against his shoulder.

I don't care that you don't love me, I don't care that you are a criminal, I don't care that this will never be a relationship and I don't care that we will part ways soon.

"Okay, want to go inside?" Sasuke suddenly asks, his cocky tone back in place and he squeezes the arm he's taken a gentle hold off while kissing me.

And while we go back inside I realize that he knows.

He knows what I just told him and he feels the same way.

This'll be a fling, nothing less than a way to satisfy our sexual urges and shared attraction and when the time comes for us to leave there will be no strings attached and no future ahead for the two of us.

And that, for us, is just fine.

* * *

><p>Two-and-a-half weeks later both Sasuke and myself have fallen into the depths of hell and now doom awaits us.<p>

The moment a letter arrived for me I knew I was called back to the village. I didn't even need to read the contents of the letter to know that.

And if things had been just fine the way they were that wouldn't have been a problem at all.

After four-and-a-half months away from your village, your family and friends you start to miss home and long to return.

But what began as just a fling had throughout the weeks grown into something more and we were both afraid to truly admit it.

But the letter arrived three days ago and I couldn't permit leaving a day later than today. I would be back too late, questioned about that fact and coming up with excuses would be troublesome.

But the moment I give Sasuke the keys to the apartment, for which rent has been paid for six months so there was still a decent amount of time left during which he could stay at the village, he scoffs. "You really expect me to stay here?"

I raise an eyebrow at those words and I shove my hands in my pockets. "Why wouldn't you?" I ask. I have a hunch and perhaps I am unfair for asking this but I want to hear him say the words. Want him to admit that he will miss me as much as I will miss him.

With a huff Sasuke crosses his arms in front of his chest and he looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "You really need to ask?"

I can't help but chuckle at his reply.

Here I am, standing at the door with my bag and ready to leave. Probably to not see him again for a very long time and we are both afraid to admit what we want most. Isn't that a bit tragic?

It's not as if not admitting it will dull the pain when I leave and it definitely will not make our feelings go away.

"I love you," I say bluntly then, putting my bag down onto the ground and I take a quick step forward to embrace Sasuke, burying my face in the crook of his neck and breathing in his scent.

"Shikamaru!" Sasuke hisses at me even though his arms are quick to wind around my waist and his hands settle comfortably against the small of my back and he leans his head against mine.

"Troublesome Uchiha," I scold softly and then pull my head away so I can look him in the eyes. "Saying it won't change anything and I want to be sure I hear from you when I get back to Konoha."

"I..." Sasuke starts but he falters and shakes his head, lowering his eyes. "I can't, Shikamaru." He mutters.

I feel my heart clench and I clench one of my hands into a fist. "Can't what?" My voice drops to a mere whisper and nerves rage through my body as I wait for Sasuke to clarify exactly what he can't.

Sasuke takes a breath and raises his eyes again, looking at me almost as if he feels guilty. "I can't say that."

"I..." Now it's my turn to falter. I hadn't expected him to be able to say the words even though I did know that he felt that way towards me. But now, hearing him actually say that he couldn't say it was a slight disappointed that I hadn't expected to feel.

"That... doesn't mean that I won't miss you." Sasuke's voice is barely audible when he speaks and he lifts a hand to cup my cheek.

I lean into the touch right away and sigh. "We're fools."

"We are," Sasuke agrees softly before leaning down and kissing me one more time before I leave.

**TBC.**


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Naruto

**Part Two**

"Am I doing the right thing?" Naruto's tone drops to a soft, sad whisper and his features scrunch up in a frown that is unfitting for the twenty-four year old Hokage.

I know that he is not asking me this as his assistant, he is asking me as his friend. I, though, find myself unable to be impartial when it comes to both.

"Naruto," I want to tell him that he _is_ doing the right thing. That this won't be seen as a favourable verdict for someone that is in the Hokage's good graces. Even though most people believe he shouldn't be. That this isn't a scheme that I came up with and convinced Naruto to execute.

And even though it isn't quite all that, I do fear it will be seen as that. Seen as a traitorous act against the village, conspired by the Hokage and his assistant. It will be seen as that and not an act of friendship, love and forgiveness.

Because even though everyone that knows Sasuke Uchiha longs for his return, that actually happening is something else.

Wishing to see someone is a safe thing to do. It is a reason to explain the feeling of loss when the person comes to mind. Yet most that wish for Sasuke's return do not want him back in the village as he is now. No, they want things to return to the past, have the Sasuke back that isn't so angry and full of hatred.

They don't understand, though, that that is how Sasuke has always been.

But even though they don't understand, it is the reason that they don't want him to return.

I'm certain that even Nartuo feels that way to some degree. For there is no-one that has been hurt more by Sasuke than Naruto. But Naruto's loyalty knows no bounds and even though he sometimes cringes nowadays when thinking of his once best friend he still considers Sasuke a friend. Although sometimes I think it is more a brotherly-bond they share.

"You're thinking too hard." The blond suddenly accuses me with a slightly annoyed shake of his head. "I'm also doing this for you, so look a bit more happy about it."

The ways Naruto has changed over the years, since we became shinobi, is amazing although perhaps not all changes were for the best. It is true that he has calmed down and gotten wiser ever since he became Hokage but the road towards it has dimmed the light in his eyes some.

Yet maybe with bringing Sasuke back as he promised, even though it will be in secret, that light will return.

I can feel his eyes rest on me, questioning as to why I'm not as excited as he expected. It feels as if he's looking through me completely.

I turn my own eyes away from him, away from that scrutinizing and judging gaze of my best friend who is risking almost everything he has for me.

"I am happy, Naruto." I mumble as I keep my eyes fixated on the ground. I've always been somewhat of a coward and when it comes to dealing with emotions I'd rather run than confront someone. But Naruto won't stand for that, won't let me go until he knows for certain I'm not going to mess this up.

Whether that is for his own sake or for Sasuke's I'm not sure. I like to think it is for Naruto's own sake that he thinks that. Because that means he's thinking ahead, thinking of protecting both himself and his position as Hokage from scorn. But deep down I know Naruto isn't selfish like that. He just can't think of himself first and foremost. He always worries about others and even though Sasuke has done little to deserve it, here Naruto is worrying about him being hurt by me.

A strange thing to consider since it is not Sasuke who is giving up everything by returning to Konoha.

Naruto suddenly scoffs and he crosses his arms in front of his chest almost defensively. "You don't look too happy."

"I know," even I have to admit that I feel worse than I should at this moment.

"What could possibly bother you so much?" Naruto demands and within two angry strides he stands in front of the chair I'm sitting in, looking down at me with a frown marring his features. "You'll finally have your lover by your side and still you seem to be down about something."

I must admit Naruto's words make me feel guilty. He is right, I am over-analyzing the situation and worrying about things that could possibly happen in the future but aren't sure to happen. "But... there are so many things that can go wrong. You could lose everything, Naruto." I point out with a shake of my head.

"Shikamaru," Naruto sighs and places a hand on top of my shoulder, a small smile on his lips as he looks down at me. "I know that and I'm still willing to risk it. I'm sure you'll agree Sasuke is worth it."

I can't help but smile. "Yes, he is."

"Then that's settled." He grins happily and claps his hands together before moving back to his desk. He turns to look at me and shakes his head. "And we'll think of the things that can go wrong when they are going wrong."

He then laughs and mumbles: "It's not as if you don't have a solution for every single problem that could arise already anyway."

* * *

><p>I watch as the sun fades from view, casting the world in the beginnings of the night that will probably be the best in my so far short life. Smoke twirls through the air and teases my nostril deliciously and I sigh.<p>

Asuma would've killed me if he had been alive and caught me smoking. A bad habit, an addiction everyone claims they can get rid of with just the blink of an eye and to top it all off, it's disgusting. It's all of those things and when I take a drag of my cigarette I understand, as always, why Asuma told me never to pick up this habit.

You can almost feel the smoke burning your throat, destroying your lungs as the nicotine forces its way through your body already having you crave for more before your second drag.

I don't blame myself for starting. At that time, smoking the cigarettes that Asuma had once smoked was a comfort I couldn't find in anything else.

And even though I always say that I never quit because it is too troublesome, there are probably few that believe those words.

The reason why I don't quit smoking is because even though nicotine is addictive it is a wonder to my mind. It calms me down, both my nerves and my mind. And in a world where you fight almost daily in order to protect your village, those short moments where everything seems to be numbed by the nicotine are worth so much.

Right now, though, I'm not trying to numb my brain. For the anxious feeling that washes over me every time I lift my eyes to the path I know Sasuke will walk upon soon is a good kind of anxiety. It makes my heart flutter and with that, I don't need a cigarette to numb my brain.

Sasuke's pending return is enough to render even my mind into complete silence.

The nerves that rage through my body, though, do need to be calmed down. Because even though it is wonderful that Sasuke returns I can't help but feel nervous about it. Which is ridiculous, really, but that is the way emotions work.

Suddenly I feel a small wave of chakra flood my senses, alerting me someone is coming closer.

The person is too far away for me to clearly recognize the chakra signature but I know who it is. There's only one person that will visit me tonight.

I raise my eyes for a second, knowing Sasuke's not close enough to be seen in the dark twilight but wanting to be sure.

When I, as expected, don't see anything but darkness and the grey of my cigarette-smoke I lower my eyes again. Yet I can't stop my lips from curling up in slight satisfaction.

Naruto and I did it. We tried so hard to get him back and now Sasuke was coming closer, closer to returning to Konoha and closer to me.

His chakra becomes clearer and easier to recognize fast and it's almost as if he is in a hurry to see me. A small surge of satisfaction finds its way through me and I chuckle softly to myself. At least I'm not the only one worked up about this.

"Smoking, Shikamaru?" Suddenly Sasuke's voice drifts across the clearing. That husky voice, speaking in a somewhat teasing manner.

I feel a shiver run down my spine, accompanied by a wave of happiness that seems to flood my senses. It's been a while since my last contact with Sasuke and even longer when I last heard his voice.

The realisation that he has returned, that I'll never have to miss both Sasuke again, is overwhelming. And when I exhale, blowing smoke into the dark air, I find that my breath trembles slightly.

"Are you that nervous to see me return?" While teasing me, Sasuke steps out of the shadows the wood casts upon him and his skin seems to glow in the moonlight.

I watch him through lowered lashes, wanting to take in his body and how he's changed since I last saw him but I find that instead my eyes are idly searching for any new, visible blemishes or scars.

"Nervous?" I find myself murmuring while my eyes trace down his muscled upper-arms.

There's a scratch I haven't seen before but it doesn't look bad. Just something minor that probably won't leave a too big scar.

Satisfied with my inspection, I lazily raise my eyes. "Not so much."

Sasuke snorts and raises his chin haughtily at my words. "Not so much indeed." His voice has dropped to a low husky murmur yet in the little light the moon provides I can see his lips quirking up in that holier-than-thou smirk he has mastered over the years. "You don't even look excited to see me."

"Why would I be?" I raise an eyebrow and lean my head to the side. I trace my upper-lip with my tongue while keeping my eyes fixated on Sasuke and taking a drag of my cigarette.

When we meet it is always like this. Like every time we see each other we try to get to terms with the reality of the situation. Almost as if we need to remind ourselves that what we're feeling is both very real and frightening no matter how overwhelming and good it is.

A short, slightly ridiculed laugh passes Sasuke's lips and with slow yet confident steps makes his way over to me. He climbs the three steps of the porch and I feel my breath stock in my throat for a second.

He then stops at the top of the steps, watching me with a raised eyebrow and crossing his arms in front of his chest, almost as if he is offended. "I'm here and I gather you've been through a lot of troublesome things just to get me here." He traces his upper-lip with his tongue before he tilts his head slightly and his lips quirk up into a smirk. "I'd say you might even care about me."

It hits me then, with Sasuke standing in front of me, on _my porch_. The realization comes crashing down on me with the speed of Lee in a hurry. It seems to take a hold of my entire body and I can't help but shudder because of it.

Sasuke is here. He is standing on my land, on my porch and when morning comes our ways don't have to part. Granted, our relationship will remain hidden from everyone, his return a dirty-little-secret I am supposed to keep from the world.

But as long as that means he will be staying with me, that is all right. That is the life I will take on and I will lead it as the happiest one ever imaginable.

I raise my eyes and look at Sasuke. The time for playing games is over. We've both been waiting for this moment for so long and now we're holding out on each other out of what?

"As troublesome as it is, I care." I feel the lightest of blushes grace my cheeks at those words. No matter how many times I realize or say it, admitting that I care about Sasuke, am in love with him, is embarrassing.

Sasuke blinks at my words and the smirk on his lips only widens. But I've been watching Sasuke a lot. Studying him every time I saw him to make sure when we were parted I'd always have a clear and detailed vision available. And because of that, I notice the small shudder that runs down Sasuke's back.

Seeing that, I am overwhelmed with the sudden urge to hug Sasuke, finally hold him in my arms and welcome him home. I stand up, completely discarding whatever game we were playing, and within a few strides I am hugging him close. I bury my face in the crook of his neck and inhale his scent as my eyes close on their own accord. "I care a lot," my voice is low, slightly hoarse even. It feels so good to finally hold him again, knowing he isn't going anywhere.

"Good," Sasuke murmurs into my ear in reply in that low, husky tone of his. "Otherwise we would've had some issues." He then breathes and relief is evident in his tone. Almost as if he was afraid for a moment that I might have changed my mind.

But I haven't, and the relief in his voice has me shiver. It's all the answer I might have wished for myself that I wasn't the only one worried. That he, too, had doubts about my honesty and feelings.

I am startled from my thoughts suddenly as I feel his soft, warm hands rest steadily against my back. It is a comforting and tender touch and I'd dare to almost call it loving.

"Sasuke," I murmur softly against his neck before pulling away.

It's as if something snaps when our eyes catch.

I press forward, lips meeting Sasuke's in a hungry kiss in which I pour all of my emotions. The love, the waiting, the need.

When Sasuke returns the kiss with the same intensity of feelings I can't help but shiver and almost melt in his arms. His lips feel amazing, his hands that burry themselves into my hair feel amazing. And his body pressing against mine so desperately ignites a fire within me that I know I won't be able to stop.

His tongue is wet against my lips and excitedly I part them, granting him the access he wants with heat coiling through my body.

I shudder and moan softly into the kiss. When Sasuke presses his body even closer against mine I lay my arms around his neck, holding him close while our kiss heats up.

Sasuke breaks the kiss and murmurs against my lips: "Let's go inside."

I feel him shiver against me as he speaks and I can't help but do the same. It's been too much, we've waited too long and now is not the time to be slow and tender. With Sasuke back, we've got forever to do that. Now, we just need to make sure that this is real.

I rush inside but Sasuke is close behind me, his hands reaching out to grab my waist and his body-heat against my back is almost intoxicating.

Suddenly he grabs my wrist and turns me around, pushing me harshly against the wall of the hallway. A gasp passes my lips, and with tremors of sweet pleasure and longing shooting through me, my body voluntarily presses itself against his.

"Shika," Sasuke's eyes darken from what I assume is lust before he roughly pushes his lips against mine.

I kiss back without hesitation and it's needy, desperate and arousing. His hands stroke my skin, tug at my clothes. I do the same while our bodies press and rub against each other in a desperate attempt to be closer to each other.

Our sexual escapades are always like this, always tinged with a bit of desperation and an animalistic lust that by the time we come seems to have consumed us whole. It had scared me at first, this emotion that took over my whole body, clouded my mind and which even kept me from thinking rationally. It was unlike something I'd ever felt and in the beginning I tried hard to cling at my bored countenance.

And then Sasuke – arrogant, anger-driven and emotionless Sasuke – told me to just get over myself. Because if he could do it, so he reasoned, than so could I. It was true, of course. It was just strange that Sasuke Uchiha, of all people, was more comfortable with the feeling of love than I was.

Teeth nipping my lower-lip almost urgently surprise me and when Sasuke pulls away – denying me his kiss which could as well be an aphrodisiac – I shudder at the loss.

"Heh," Sasuke's lips quirk up into a teasing smirk, his fingers slide over my side while his nails dig deliciously against my skin and he drags his mouth up the side of my neck to gently bite my ear-lobe in a way he knows will not fail to arouse me fully.

A stifled groan passes my lips, pleasure ripping through my body like a wild-fire through an arid forest and my cock hardens completely without Sasuke having even touched it. It's a strange feeling, knowing that my lover can arouse me with just a few words and touches but it only adds to the excitement of the current situation.

"What were you doing, Shika?" Sasuke's voice is low, husky and hot puffs of air brush against my ear.

I shudder at the feeling of his breath against my ear, teasing but not completely touching me yet. My body feels like it is on fire, my walls of resistance not to take him right here and now start crumbling and pre-cum drizzles almost lazily from the tip of my cock which feels trapped inside my pants.

One of Sasuke's hands drags itself down my side, nails just barely scraping my naked skin, and with a sudden move that has Sasuke's eyes flash with carnal desire he roughly cups my hard member through the thin fabric of my pants. "I don't want you thinking when we're about to have sex." He squeezes my cock for good measure and I can feel him shudder at his own action.

A loud moan passes my lips, more pre-cum leaks from my tip forming a wet spot in my pants and the hunger that has been trying to break free over-powers me with ease, it was never a battle after all.

With my mind hazy and currently out-of-order I lunge forward, my body crashing against Sasuke's who stumbles until he's leaning against the opposite wall. We're both panting, both tearing at each other's clothes and we are both trying to devour each other in ways not humanely possible.

"Then don't let me," my voice is raspy, harsh almost and after dropping Sasuke's shirt carelessly down onto the ground I crush my lips to his, wanting – needing – to feel him against me.

Sasuke kisses back with the same vigour and craving and our teeth click against each other, our tongues battle for dominance neither of us will get and lewd groans and moans escape us both.

With surprisingly steady hands Sasuke unbuttons my pants and slowly, oh-so teasingly slow, eases my zipper down.

"Sasu," I can't help but gasp into the kiss, his tongue taking full advantage of that fact and I shudder.

One of his deft, stealthy hands is quick to push itself into my underwear, pants sagging down my hips on their own accord, and he roughly encloses his hand around my cock, stroking his fingers along the over-sensitive skin. "So hard, Shika..."

Sasuke's hand on my cock sets off a fire within me and his luscious voice murmuring those dirty, shameless words easily have me shuddering with need and my member pulsating under my lover's touch.

Urgently, with my fingers shaking slightly, I fumble with the button of Sasuke's pants. My hands pause, a moan falling off my lips, when Sasuke gives me a good, measured squeeze, but quickly I return to the task at hand.

I want him. I want him naked, on my bed and writhing under me in so much need and lust that he won't know anything but my name.

So by the time I've successfully loosened Sasuke's pants and ease them down his hips I've 'accidentally' brushed his cock – which is as hard as mine – thrice, have squeezed his ass twice and am sucking his neck for good measure.

Judging by the soft groans and the occasional snap of his hips forward I'd say he is enjoying this as much as I am.

"Take me to bed, Shika." Sasuke suddenly rasps heatedly into my ear. "_Your_ bed."

Standing in the bedroom – _my _bedroom – at the end of the bed – _my_ bed – with Sasuke lying on top of the dark sheets looking at me with smouldering eyes my lust-crazed mind seems to take a break.

It was real before, when he walked onto my land, stood onto my porch and pressed me against the walls of my own house while kissing me.

But seeing him on my bed – the place where I've longed for him to be for such a long time – doesn't only make me feel so happy he is here. No, a possessiveness I've never felt before settles within me.

"Shikamaru?"

Gods, even Sasuke's voice alone has me shudder. And when I look up to lock eyes with my lover all I feel like doing is tying him to my bed and making sure he'll never be able to leave me.

Without truly thinking – my mind has shut itself off a long time ago, it seems – I quickly crawl onto the bed.

Sasuke's slightly widened eyes clearly show his surprise at my sudden action and I can't help but feel slightly satisfied.

But that's not what I want to do. That's not what I want him to feel. I want him to know that he belongs with me, to me, and no-one else.

Straddling him I press a heated kiss to his lips that leaves us both quivering in need and a low growl escapes me: "Mine,"

A soft gasp passes Sasuke's lips and for a second he seems to still on the bed in surprise. But then he takes a shuddering breath and his lips curve up into a sexy smirk, his eyes questioning. "Yours?"  
>"Yes," my voice is low, raw from emotion. And at seeing Sasuke's smirk, the knowing look in his eyes, I can't help but thrust my hips down to meet his. And when our arousals brush against each other, eliciting moans from both our lips and tearing sweet, hot pleasure through us, I rasp: "You're mine."<p>

Sasuke's body shudders and his Adam's apple bobs sexily as he swallows and I notice that my words make him even more excited. "When did I ever say that?" He tries to sound cocky, wants to look holier-than-thou, but all I see is a man craving to be touched and satisfied.

He's never looked better.

I shake my head and thrust my hips against his again, leaning forward to nip at Sasuke's pale neck in an attempt to leave a mark no-one will see. "Doesn't matter." I breathe against his skin. "I'm not letting you leave even if you wanted to."  
>Sasuke's surprised gasp, followed by a breathless chuckle makes my heart skip a beat and I realize deep down I might've been concerned he wouldn't have liked what I said.<p>

Suddenly Sasuke lays his hands on my back and they're hot, sweaty and the touch feels almost tender. "Maybe I don't want to." He admits softly, an embarrassed flush settling over his cheeks.

My breath stocks in my throat for a moment. Because it's not often that Sasuke speaks words like this and it never ceases to amaze me when he does.

"But..." as sudden as Sasuke's slightly awkward countenance has come it has gone again. He tightens his hold against my back, roughly thrusts the entire length of his body up against mine. He nuzzles the side of my neck and after harshly tugging my ear-lobe between his teeth he husks: "I might change my mind if you don't hurry." And then he emphasizes his words by tugging my hair-tie out of my hair and pulling my hair.

With a breathless chuckle I push Sasuke back against the bed again, a soft moan escaping me when our naked bodies rub against each other again. "Hurry?" I smirk down at Sasuke, reaching for the lube under the pillow – where it's been safely stored for quite some time. "Do you realize who you're asking?"

When I uncap the lube Sasuke raises an eyebrow even though his excited shudder takes away the effect it should have. "Seems like you're hurrying along just fine."

"Am I now?" I pour a generous amount of the lube onto my palm, spreading it across my hands afterwards.

"Yeah," Sasuke nods, licks his lips and murmurs lecherously: "I might even think you find me worth the – Aaanh, Shika!" Sasuke's body shudders deliciously under mine and he looks up at me with a slightly shocked but very wanton expression.

I groan softly at Sasuke's reaction to me pushing my finger inside him – quick and without warning. It's exciting to know he wants me like that, sometimes even begs for me.

With quick, deft movements I start preparing Sasuke. When Sasuke's entrance clenches against the sudden intrusion, I swallow, trying to keep myself from simply damning preparation to hell and just taking him now.

Sasuke moans, hands reaching up to tug at my hair almost urgently. "I won't break."

With a soft intake of breath I can't help but obey Sasuke's silent question for more. He's as demanding and willing as always, both not satisfied with what I'm giving and knowing that him acting like that turns me on.

His breathing hitches when I now work him with two fingers. And when I brush his prostate he stiffens in pleasure before closing his eyes and lustfully asking me for more.

As Sasuke's demands get louder and more heated, my hunger for him grows and my movements get rougher. I intently watch Sasuke's face, loving the way his expression keeps flickering between pleasure and impatience.

Suddenly he opens his eyes, irises dilated and lips curled up into predatory smirk. "C-come on, Shika." He tells me, pushing his hips back against my thrusts with a moan falling of his luscious lips.

I thrust a third finger into him, heart beating loudly against my chest and my breathing ragged.

I manage a few quick thrusts before Sasuke suddenly pushes himself up and grabs the lube from the bed.

"T-that's enough." With soft pants wrecking his body he reaches for the lube, watching my every move with a hungry look.

And all of a sudden, I am on my back with eyes wide in shock and cock twitching in anticipation. "Sasuke!"

Sasuke huffs, tilting his chin almost haughtily and he teasingly pushes his ass down against my weeping cock. "You always take forever..." he complains with a smirk.

I lick my lips, feeling pre-cum drizzle from my cock and I reach out to pull Sasuke closer to my with a steady grip on his hips. "Do I now?"  
>"Hmm," Sasuke nods and leans down to kiss me, the sound of the lube being uncapped only adding to the thrills of pleasure that continuously run through my body.<p>

His tongue deftly slips between my slightly parted lips, one of his hands stroking up my chest and he teasingly rubs one of my nipples between his fingers.

I lean up against his touch, gasping into the kiss and silently begging for Sasuke to hurry. All of a sudden, a slick hand wraps itself around my engrossed cock, stroking me quite roughly. My body trembles from the sudden stimulation and an embarrassing cry of pleasure passes my lips. Sasuke always knows so well how to touch me, how to tease me and how to stroke me until it drives me completely insane from lust.

And when he releases my cock, looking at me with a lecherous smirk and an expression raw from emotion I gasp softly in anticipation. Sasuke was right, it had taken both of us long enough and I want to tell him to just hurry it up.

But before I can shamelessly admit that I want to feel myself sheathed very securely into my lover, he straightens his back and starts guiding himself to my cock. When my cock enters Sasuke, easily pushing past the tight ring of muscles, Sasuke stiffens for a moment.

I reach out a slightly unstable hand, caressing soft and gentle circles against Sasuke's lower-back. Even though I'm shaking from need, wanting to come so badly, I don't want to hurt Sasuke. And knowing my lover, now that he's finally gotten what he wanted, if I don't try and slow him down a bit he will be very sore tomorrow. Which will be satisfactory for me, but quite uncomfortable for Sasuke.

"Haa," Sasuke huffs softly when he's filled up to the hilt, hands digging in my sides. "I'm not a woman." He scolds with a teasing smirk and wriggles himself around a bit to get accustomed to the feeling of being filled.

Even though my mind and body want and think nothing other than fucking my boyfriend, I still find myself slightly amused by Sasuke's words. He's always so prissy when it's about me caring about him.

"Trust me," I reach out a hand and slowly trail a finger from the base of his cock to the tip, where my fingers touch the pre-cum that has gathered there. I feel him shiver in pleasure – the discomfort of being filled completely always quickly to disappear from him – and smirk. "I know."

Sasuke makes a noise in the back of his throat, his hold on my sides tightening momentarily before he starts moving on top of me. Slowly, almost as slowly as he starts his movements, his expression starts to blend into one of complete and utter pleasure.

I swallow heavily. Feeling his walls clench and move around me, hearing him pant softly and actually _seeing_ how my cock slides in and out of Sasuke, it is hard to keep the pent up need at bay. But I want to hear him ask for it, beg for it although I'm not sure I'll last that long.

And as Sasuke starts moving faster, thrusting himself down onto me rougher each time and soft groans now passing his lips as pre-cum drizzles from his tip, he breathlessly chides: "C-come on, Shika..."

"Hmm, but you wanted to be on top," I tease him, circling my hand around his erection and stroking it softly, knowing it must be torture to him. "You should work for it."

"Haa," Sasuke groans loudly when I touch him and it only encourages him to move faster and rougher. Little beads of sweat find their way down his defined abs, almost stroking his beautiful pale skin. "I am..."

I want to chuckle at his reply but just then he thrusts down so that I hit his prostate dead-on and the shivers that course through his body and make his muscles contract has me gasp instead.

After a few more thrusts Sasuke starts clenching his ass around my cock, one of his hands pinching my nipple almost angrily. "F-fucking hell, Shika! M-move!"

At the combination of heated words and Sasuke's ass clenching around my cock my resolve breaks completely. It wasn't exactly begging but it's not as if I can find the will to wait for more. I'm so hard, as is Sasuke and I'm quite sure this will be over before we want it to be.

In an almost brutal way I snap my hips up, meeting Sasuke's thrusts and hitting his prostate every time our bodies meet. The sound of our pants and skin slapping against skin are the only sounds in the room.

Sasuke's body falls forward a bit, his head resting against my shoulder and he trembles like a leaf. The change in his thrusts – they become shallower, shakier somewhat – is enough of a warning for me.

I sweep my thumb over the tip of his erection, using Sasuke's pre-cum as lube and I stroke him quickly, in turn with the rhythm of our love-making.

"G-God..." Sasuke moans, reaching out his hands to clench at the sheets of the bed. And then, with a guttural moan, Sasuke comes. His entire body is strung almost as tight as a bow, his cum spills over my hands and his walls clench around me.

When I both feel and see Sasuke come, the familiar warmth of a nearing orgasm blankets itself over my body. And when Sasuke slumps forward, leaning heavily against my body, I come, moaning Sasuke's name as I do so.

After a few moments, when the effects of my orgasm are wearing off and all that's left is a happy, blissful glow, I shakily reach out my arms to hug Sasuke close to my chest.

Sasuke nuzzles my neck without any words, completely content and obviously tired.

We never need any words after we've had sex. We don't declare our love for each other, don't say the little-nothings that others murmur at each other hours after. For us, basking in the afterglow in silence is enough.

But today is different. Today is special and we both know it.

It's why I am not letting Sasuke go yet, fifteen minutes after we've both come and it's the reason why Sasuke isn't grumpily telling me to clean him up already.

"Welcome home," I press a soft, gentle kiss against Sasuke's forehead. I don't think I've ever felt more happy than right now.

"Heh," Sasuke smiles – not a smirk, a simple, beautiful smile that's just for me – and swiftly kisses me. "It's good to be home."

**THE END**


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